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Questions: Do They Put People Off or Persuade?

Salespeople, interviewers, managers, and various and sundry other presenters ask a lot of questions. So do many other outgoing people. Why? For the most part, we ask questions for four reasons: to solicit information, to show concern, to establish rapport or relationships, and at times, to indirectly express an objection.

But that communication habit can work against us in some situations. All questions are not created equal. Some questions annoy people for their lack of a clear purpose. They seem intrusive at worst and pointless at best.

"So tell me a little about your operations now—what's automated and what's not?" A typical but weak approach for opening a sales presentation. First, opening with such a broad question will make the other person reluctant to answer because he or she doesn't know where the question is leading. Second, most of the answer will probably be irrelevant to the discussion at hand. Even with the consultative approach, people want to know where you're trying to lead them. If you start with a question, focus it and explain the benefits or the point of knowing the answer. To customers or colleagues, focused questions, not broad ones, will seem worth the effort to answer.

To be persuasive, ask a question that showcases a benefit: "How much time do your engineers spend in preparing these charts each month?" Follow up: "The software package can generate such a chart with fewer than six keystrokes." Raise a question: "Do your managers look forward to performance appraisal conferences?" Give a response. "Our consultants can identify performance problems objectively with this survey before these problems lead to termination."

Sometimes this questioning technique alone is the difference between having prospects tune out what they perceive as a formal, canned sales "pitch" or what they consider a consultative approach, customized conversation specific to their needs.

For example, here's a wasted question—one that often gets an unnecessarily negative response: "Do you have about five minutes—I'd like to tell you how our relocation company would handle the move." The response will often be, "No, I don't have five minutes." Or: "Okay, five minutes. Give me the pitch."

On the other hand, here's a question that showcases the benefit: "Do you transfer employess into his office often?" Follow up: "Then you'll be interested to know that we can handle the move for all sixty of your people so that you don't have to deal with so many vendors during the process. We even offer mortgage financing."

Another tip: Invite others to "try on your idea" with a question: How many times have you heard the comment, "If I could just get the boss to try it, she'd like it." That's why we get cereal, soap, and software in the mail. The same principle is at work with ideas. People can't try new ideas on over old ones. "Would you be open to discussing something new?" You have to persuade people to put aside the old policy, equipment, or training—even if temporarily—to give the new a fair trial. Help others to play with an idea first—discuss what-ifs, who-withs, where-necessarys, whys, and how-tos. A question to test or call attention to others' openness, or lack therof, will establish a safe environment for them to "toy" with an idea without fear of communicating commitment to "buy" it.

Finally, for best results, give questions a context. Della, a trade-show manager, asked her assistant how much small, plastic trash cans cost. The assistant, Pam, then called eights stores to put together a list of potential suppliers of trash containers, with the available sizes and prices for volume purchases. When Pam reported back to her manager with her list of suppliers, Della commented that they're all too expensive for the one-time use she intended—to place them in the exhibitor booths for the upcoming trade show. When Della finally amplified on her purpose, the perturbed assistant explained that her next door neighbor ran a cleaning service. And that cleaning-service company would supply trash containers with their janitorial service for a fee less than the cost to purchase the containers.

Once again, wasted effort. The manager didn't give the bigger picture that prompted the question. If people know why you're asking, they may supply helpful information that you haven't even thought to ask. Always give a context when asking your question.

So even though on social occasions people often lapse into a question-answer format to show interest and vicariously participate in others' experiences, we need to constantly remind ourselves of the need for structure and purpose with questions on the job. Focus makes a big difference in whether you build rapport or destroy a relationship opportunity—whether people are put off or persuaded by your presentation.

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